Why

I like to think of Chaos and Clarity as the twins of life.  Co-existing within me and around me.  Completing each other.  An inseparable pair who couldn’t be more different in appearance nor more connected in mission.  Each one serves my higher learning in her own way.

Chaos is often louder than Clarity.  She craves attention and thrives on disorder.  Chaos likes to shake things up, keep it interesting.  She’s also a bit of a pyromaniac, setting fires and causing explosions that demand my attention. But she does it with a purpose.

I used to despise Chaos, thinking of her as little more than a troublemaker.  Until one day, when Chaos delivered a blow so hard, I blew to pieces.  At the time, I assumed she left me for dead.  But eventually I found that with my pieces scattered, I was able to sort through them.  A house-cleaning if you will.  As I put myself back together, I noticed that I was able to choose which pieces stayed and which needed to be eliminated.  I was free to re-configure myself in a less vulnerable way.  And I had Chaos to thank for that.

That’s how I met Clarity, the beautiful counterpart to Chaos.   She kneeled down beside me in my despair and helped me sweep up.  Then she held my hand and helped me stand.  And when I finally stood on my own two feet again, she showed me how to look at my life through her eyes.  At once I saw Truth and Love and felt comforted and secure.  I knew I would be okay, no matter what.  Clarity would always be there for me, alongside Chaos, to help me through this life.  All I had to do was acknowledge their co-existence.

These days, I welcome them both.  ‘My girls’ I call them.  My Team. They remind me on a daily basis – in big ways and small – that life is in complete balance.  For example, Chaos is that person that is actually quite sick of playing with her kids, who just wants to get back to work so she can scratch another thing from the to-do list. But Clarity takes a step back and understands how precious the moments spent with a child are and seeks out time to be with them.

I am Chaos and Clarity, as I suspect we all are.  And I’m doing my best to honor both.  This blog is just one more way to accomplish that.

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